once again... it's been a long time. blogging is so not part of my life anymore. but suddenly thought of it, so i shall post an entry. too much has happened to put down in words. don't have the energy to do so anyway. now in med sch and it's not easy. have always been doing last min work all my life and now found out that i'll be murdered by this old habit of mine. too much new info everyday and leaving everything to a later date has caused a long train of confusion and doubts. brain is working too slowly; can't ingest and digest quick enough. priorities are misplaced. wrong state of mind. play. a little is good. but very addictive like drugs. quitting causes withdrawal symptoms. distractions are everywhere. difficult to focus. being a stone is not a solution. it will still get attacked by agents like wind and rain and sun and chemicals. hurdles. more like mountains. unable to climb without training. crawling gets you nowhere. lethargy. inertia. sloth. excuses! training can't commence. breathlessness and fatigue overcoming. the peak is so far. the final test. dig deep! determination. perseverance. dilligence. consistency. balance. agility. not mere words. put them into action. show everyone. the shark is far but its speed is fast. imminent danger lurking. maintain safety distance rather than fight straight on. swim hard. swim fast. hurry before the train leaves! leave. leave. leave.